Sunday, July 29, 2012

How we spent our days

Daddy was very restricted to being able to only get up when he absolutely needed to. So when I would come down between morning work and afternoon work on days I didn't have class, I would basically be playing nurse. I didn't mind this one bit because we had an appointment with the new surgeon for the end of the week and I wanted to spend every moment I could with Daddy before we had to take him back to the hospital... Only thing I hated was that I had a morning class after morning work the day of the surgery. I would take off afternoon work that day but it meant that I would have to say my good lucks the night before because I wouldn't be able to see Daddy before he went to the OR.





Since Daddy couldn't really get up, I would get to the house around 9am, and clean up his breakfast dishes... Momma always left him cereal on his table next to the hospital bed... Then, I'd empty out his urinals(something the nursing home rarely ever did) and actually CLEAN them (something the nursing home really NEVER did), then I'd set up shop... I'd pull over one of our living room chairs as close as I possibly could to his bed, I'd snuggle in to the chair and turn on one of our shows on the laptop Ken and I set up for Daddy. Ken had set up his Netflix account and sljngbox so that Daddy could even watch the TV downstairs on the laptop if he wanted to... Ken's quite amazing...

I'd then figure out what the heck was in the house that we could make him for lunch... Usually a sandwich or frozen meal... And then I'd have to endure him struggling to eat... I'd of corse cut things up for him, but he still had issues due to pain...


We'd watch movies and TV shows and is do some homework, sometimes we'd both take a nap... But then the horrible part came, leaving... I don't know if it was "Catholic guilt", or selfishness, or simply pain... But leaving my Daddy is still today the hardest thing to do... I'd lean over the railing of his hospital bed and kiss him on top of his head, and tell him how much I love him and that I'd give him a call later, then I couldn't look back, if I did, I'd start to cry as soon as I sat in my jeep, and crying and driving don't go well together. I just hate when he's alone, what happens if he needs me, what happens if he tries something and falls... Then the ultimate, what happens if the cancer gets him and I'm not there to hold his hand as he goes to meet God...

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

No comments:

Post a Comment