Thursday, August 2, 2012

The Next Day

The next day, I had only gotten about two hours of sleep... Momma was going to try to get through a normal work day, so I took off of work and went to spend the day with Daddy. I was seriously surprised to find that he was still stuck in the recovery unit because the orthopedic floor still did not have an open bed for him. When I told Momma, she was furious... Recovery unit nurses are required to wake you up regularly and test regularly, which is nice... But not when you want to sleep and NEED to rest, and being in recovery means that Daddy had not been seen by physical therapy yet, when the surgeon wanted PT see him right away to get him up and moving on his new titanium femurs. Momma called the surgeon and not a half hour later he found me in the surgical waiting room as I waited for the next visiting hour to come. He was wearing one of his ridiculous bow ties, so I really couldn't take him seriously, but he told me he had made room for Daddy on the ortho floor and that he wanted me to come with him to walk along as transport team took Daddy upstairs to his new room. Daddy was so happy to hear the news, but I could tell he was not excited about PT, he was still in a good deal of pain and found it very difficult to get comfortable and fall asleep.

We got into the room, the surgeon and PT brought in this ridiculous contraption that helped Daddy stand up. They just had him stand and take a few steps and he was exhausted, I could see his leg muscles struggling. I felt tears welling up, but I was determined not to let Daddy see them, luckily I saw the lunch tray cart coming... So I told Daddy I was going to get my own lunch so that we could eat together. As I walked out of the ortho unit, I knew where the nearest bathroom was (to be TOO familiar with a hospital) and as I shut the door behind me, I fell to the ground and tears poured down my cheeks... I couldn't even feel that they were there I was so upset and filled with adrenaline, I didn't know I was crying until the tears started to drip off my jaw bone into my lap. Once I realized I was a mess, I stood up, took a deep breath, wiped me face, reapplying foundation powder, and went to the cafeteria to pick out the food I was going to force myself to eat... Hunger didn't exist a lot when in the hospital, I'm honestly surprised I never got sick from forcing food on myself... I just knew I'd need my strength so I needed to eat.

I got back to Daddy's room and he was panting with exhaustion, and has his lunch tray untouched in front of him. I didn't make him ask, I just started to cut up his food and started to feed him. Once he told me he was full, he took my hand, kissed it, and fell asleep. I fed myself with one hand because I couldn't bare to let go of his hand while he was sleeping... He slept for almost four straight hours... When he woke up, he kissed my hand again and turned on the TV. I will never forget these moments, ever.

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