The holidays weren't as hard as I thought they were going to be. That might sound awful, but let me explain. I thought we were going to be sitting around, holding back tears and not ever getting into the Christmas spirit. I was wrong, my husband, brother, mother and I all went above and beyond for our presents to one another. I have never had so much fun watching my mother open presents before. I got her a tablet computer like she has been asking for for almost a year, and tickets to a Christmas Tea, and an album of Ken and I's wedding. I enjoyed Christmas so much this year. Yes, I found a couple of nights that I couldn't sleep, that I found myself just sitting up and thinking of Daddy... But I just think of it as his way of comforting me. We used to always sit up together at night , I'd sit right next to his hospital bed in the living room, and we would find random things on Netflix to watch... Eventually you'd find something so uninteresting that you'd fall asleep. We would eat italian ice and just laugh at how awful some of the tv shows were. So me sitting up at night now, I know he is around, and just wants to spend some time with me. I did miss seeing him in his Bah Hum Bug shirt this year tho...
I literally think about him every single day.
I find myself still talking about him in the present tense.
I hope neither of those things will ever change. <3