Thursday, September 26, 2013

What is God waiting for?

This past weekend, all the people most important in Daddys life came to visit him in the hospital. Saturday was a great day, Daddy even Gibbs slapped his niece, Jill. He was sassy and sarcastic, and himself. Sunday was so different, he didn't even open his eyes. Everyone left by Monday and then it was just us again. We tried to sleep in shifts so Daddy would never not have someone sitting at his side. Tuesday night, I sat up with Daddy until 4am, he just kept staring at me, trying to make facial gestures, trying to mouth words. I tried to understand what he was saying to me without him seeing that it was all frustrating for me.

I told him that everything was going to be okay, that I would make sure that Momma and my brother are taken care of, and that my fiance will take care of me. I told him that my wedding will still be a great time, that he will be with me, by my side the whole day. That he will get to see grandma and grandpa and nana and pa when he gets there, and his cousin Ronnie, and he can meet the Babe... And his all-time favorite Yankee, Thurman Munson, that his Heaven will be game seven of the World Series and he will be watching from behind home plate... I tried to convince him that everything would eventually be okay, that we will find some new kind of normal, but that I will always miss him... I will wake up every morning, still worrying about him, just like how I've woken up every day since December 2011. I will love him always and forever, no matter what. But he still hangs on, I don't know why...

We have been praying for God to take him away from us, because by doing that all of his pain will go with it. But ... He must be busy.

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