Surgery Day

This was Daddy's third surgery in three months, I honestly couldn't believe he had made it through it all... Strength must be a family trait I suppose.

I had to go to morning work and a class on the day of surgery, but I called Daddy before and after work to tell him how much I loved him and that I'd see him when he woke up. I couldn't concentrate at work, trying to tutor a boy who really needed my help and I just could not do it... But I couldn't stress about that now, bigger worries on my mind... At least Momma wasn't alone while she waited, her brother, my Uncle Kevin came down from NY... He's my favorite uncle for many reasons, but especially for how he can calm Momma down no matter what, I love him for that. So, Momma and Uncle Kevin were at the hospital with Daddy while I was not concentrating through work and genetics class... Didn't help that there was this guy in my class who just hit every button I have with how annoying and frustrating he is, I'm sure I channeled some of my worries into ignoring his rudeness all throughout class... Still can't stand that guy... But finally, class was dismissed, I hadn't comprehended a thing so I brought my textbook with me to the hospital to read in the surgical waiting room. I tried not to speed but I was just so anxious to get to down to the city to the hospital... I think I had angels on either side of my jeep because I remember I didn't hit any traffic (miracle) and found a parking spot on the first floor of the garage (impossible)...





I put on my backpack and my purse full of all things on earth and rushed up the stairs of the garage and across the street, I jay walked, and almost ran over a few people to get through the stupid rotating door and to check in at guest services to get a wristband (those people are idiots), and then walked as fast as I could to the stairs to the surgical waiting room.

My Uncle Kevin was passed out with half a muffin resting on his gut, and Momma was in a newspaper... I dumped all my bags and embraced her... She is the strongest woman on this planet... And we just sat... And sat... And sat... The waiting is THE WORST...


To be continued

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Meeting with the Orthopedic Oncologist

We go through our usual issues and struggles, getting Daddy out of the house and into the car... Except this time, I had to be ready to lay out my body underneath of his if he were to fall, if he were to suffer fracture, he would most likely die of infection, so I had to be ready... I focused the whole time down our walk way, using my basketball defensive stance to be with Daddy every step of the way, luckily we made it to the car. Daddy was in extra agony today because every bump in the road e could feel the sensitivity in his hip joints where the tumors had invaded his femurs. I just kept one hand on his shoulder the whole ride... And of course we had to wait a good thirty minutes to get a wheelchair from the hospital lobby... Their front desk and transport staff is and was awful. But we finally got into the office we needed to be, in the cancer center.





The doctor came in, his specialty is surgery with cancer of the bones... Daddy's kidney cancer seemed to love living in his bones... The doctor began to explain the procedure to us, he would go in to the leg up at the top, outward of the thighs. He would then slowly insert titanium rods into both of the femur bones, while removing what tumor he could(if he could), and that it would take about three hours a leg plus anesthesia before and recovery after. He said that Daddy would be encouraged to get up on his legs as soon as his vitals became normal after surgery, Daddy liked this... So I pretended to be just as excited... But I knew that this surgery was really only to help Daddy to MAYBE walk again, not to treat his cancer, and we still had not begun chemo because of all the surgeries needed... Three in three months... My Daddy was being so strong through it all, so I pretended to be strong right along next to him... Tomorrow would be surgery day... I felt sick to my stomach


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How we spent our days

Daddy was very restricted to being able to only get up when he absolutely needed to. So when I would come down between morning work and afternoon work on days I didn't have class, I would basically be playing nurse. I didn't mind this one bit because we had an appointment with the new surgeon for the end of the week and I wanted to spend every moment I could with Daddy before we had to take him back to the hospital... Only thing I hated was that I had a morning class after morning work the day of the surgery. I would take off afternoon work that day but it meant that I would have to say my good lucks the night before because I wouldn't be able to see Daddy before he went to the OR.





Since Daddy couldn't really get up, I would get to the house around 9am, and clean up his breakfast dishes... Momma always left him cereal on his table next to the hospital bed... Then, I'd empty out his urinals(something the nursing home rarely ever did) and actually CLEAN them (something the nursing home really NEVER did), then I'd set up shop... I'd pull over one of our living room chairs as close as I possibly could to his bed, I'd snuggle in to the chair and turn on one of our shows on the laptop Ken and I set up for Daddy. Ken had set up his Netflix account and sljngbox so that Daddy could even watch the TV downstairs on the laptop if he wanted to... Ken's quite amazing...

I'd then figure out what the heck was in the house that we could make him for lunch... Usually a sandwich or frozen meal... And then I'd have to endure him struggling to eat... I'd of corse cut things up for him, but he still had issues due to pain...


We'd watch movies and TV shows and is do some homework, sometimes we'd both take a nap... But then the horrible part came, leaving... I don't know if it was "Catholic guilt", or selfishness, or simply pain... But leaving my Daddy is still today the hardest thing to do... I'd lean over the railing of his hospital bed and kiss him on top of his head, and tell him how much I love him and that I'd give him a call later, then I couldn't look back, if I did, I'd start to cry as soon as I sat in my jeep, and crying and driving don't go well together. I just hate when he's alone, what happens if he needs me, what happens if he tries something and falls... Then the ultimate, what happens if the cancer gets him and I'm not there to hold his hand as he goes to meet God...

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Enjoyed it While it Lasted

Daddy was home, we had dinners together again, we played board games again, we watched our Gibbs at HOME:):)

I got to cut down my commute to Daddy by 40 minutes, so I also got to spend a lot more time actually spending time with him... I was enjoying it so much.

We had a follow up visit with surgeon from his kidney surgery which was in a building a few blocks from our hospital in the city, and he took out his staples and said everything looked good. Then, we had to wheel Daddy down to the hospital for a new set of cat scans. Well, that night they called... He had two new tumors. Each was in the head of the femur bone known as the ball of the joint. These tumors were jeopardizing his femurs and leaving him at risk for fracture. Once Momma heard that, they knew he would not be allowed to walk unless he absolutely had to... And, more surgery...




When we got home and received this news, I immediately started to make dinner for us and I had texted Ken about the new tumors so he packed us a weekend bag and was coming down for dinner too, no idea where my brother was, but I had taken on the responsibility for informing Brian of everything so I was trying to get him to come home for dinner for once. I had no such luck. We were all pretty silent, Ken did his best to crack jokes at dinner... Daddy always likes his jokes... I just had this overwhelming feeling of selfishness, I knew the surgery would help Daddy's risk of fracture so that he could work on walking again, but I wanted him to stay home with me... I wanted my Daddy all to myself...


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