Wednesday, February 12, 2014


I haven't been able to visit him lately... It is so hard to stare at the spot on the columbarium where I know his ashes (and a piece of Yankee stadium) are, when there is no marker. After the funeral and the wedding, we just didn't have to money to pay for the plaque with his name and days of birth and death. So I just stare at the gray marble... and talk to my Daddy.

He hasn't met Gibbs yet, but I know he would have loved him... such an energetic puppy, I wish Gibbs could have brought him some added happiness at the end of his life.

Just a lot that has been going on with my family and I, things at my mother's house aren't getting any better because my brother refuses to act on...well, anything. I have started to draw my lines with the situation, because let's face it... I'm married now, I might not have kids, but I'm married now. MY home should my first priority, I can't run two households, but my brother won't lift a finger.

Ken and I are planning to move into my grandfather's house in Florida as soon as possible. I know that my mother is absolutely terrified of being alone with Brian, but maybe this is just what they needed to finally force them into some kind of action to make their situation better for one another... I mean, they have to live together!!!

Other than that, not much has changed in these past months, there are still situations every day that I say, " I wish I could call Daddy and ask him/tell him about this." It is still every day that I start to dial his phone number to talk to him.. going from talking to someone 5 or more times a day, to never... let alone everything else that comes with a death. I am still in awe of others who have lived through this before me, in absolute awe.

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