Seems ridiculous to say, but after 8 months without my father I actually feel stronger today than I ever have before. My mother and brother are still working out their kinks of how to survive without him, but me, I'm okay. I really am, I get it now, I know how I want to live my life and whatever comes from that is just fine by me... Because I will know that I have lived it to my fullest. My Daddy tried not to comment on the things he wished he could've done before he got sick, but when he would, I just made mental notes to myself, to remind me to reevaluate my life values when ever I felt comfortable enough to own them... And now I think I am. I know that I never want to have regrets, I never want to have a chance I didn't take, I never want to pass up an experience that could be incredible. If that means negative repurcussions than so be it, that's the way of the world, but I will be happy and know that I lived as much as I possibly could. I need to travel, that takes $$$, but maybe one day I'll be able to... I want to see the world and meet new people and grab life. I don't want to just walk through life anymore, I want to experience it, truly experience it. Watching my father whither away at the age of 56 was just so incredibly awful, and I survived that right? There's no way I can't survive anything else life throws at me. Just my rant for today... I could go on for hours but I won't lol.